You share an idea you’re excited about.
The first person says:
“That sounds amazing.”
You feel encouraged.
The second person asks:
“What would make someone choose this over what they already use?”
You start explaining.
They ask for an example.
You feel yourself getting defensive.
Later, their question is still there.
And when you sit down with it, you notice a gap you hadn’t seen before.
An uncomfortable conversation just gave you something useful.
WHOSE JUDGMENT HAS EARNED YOUR TRUST?
Discomfort alone doesn’t make feedback valuable.
Someone can sound certain and still misunderstand your situation.
Before giving an opinion weight, consider three things:
EXPERIENCE
What do they know about this particular problem?
SPECIFICITY
Can they point to an example and explain their reasoning?
CARE
Do they respect what you’re trying to build—and your right to make the final decision?
A trusted person can get something wrong.
But these qualities give you a reason to listen closely.
GET CURIOUS BEFORE YOU GET DEFENSIVE.
When feedback touches something you care about, it’s tempting to explain your intentions immediately.
“I already thought of that.”
“You’re missing the point.”
“That’s because it isn’t finished.”
Sometimes those explanations are relevant.
First, make sure you understand the observation.
Try:
“Can you show me where you noticed that?”
Then describe what you heard in your own words.
You can decide what to change after you’ve understood the concern.
Your practice this weekend:
Choose one idea or piece of work and ask someone whose judgment you trust:
“What’s one weakness you see, and what makes you say that?”
Listen for something you can examine.
A missing detail.
An assumption you haven’t tested.
A consequence you overlooked.
You keep ownership of the work.
You also gain another angle from which to see it.
Let someone care enough to look closely.
Then give yourself time to consider what they found.
– Maxim
Reach Your Next LVL
P.S. Thank you for spending part of your week with me. I appreciate your time and the thought you bring to these conversations.
P.P.S. Has someone ever asked you a difficult question that helped you? Hit reply and tell me what stayed with you.